Hi Carlos and Laura,
I have listened to many of the beat breakfast panels, and while I have never offered my own advice, I have often enjoyed the stories and responses. I never thought I would be writing into the beat breakfast panel myself, but I guess that is just the way she goes.
My friend is engaged to be married in less than 2 months. This should be an exciting time in her life, as well as her fiancé’s. However, she recently met a guy and I guess they had an immediate connection she couldn’t shake. She ended up spending a night with him doing extramarital activities of which most of us would not approve. Afterwards, she continues to talk to him, flirt with him, and plan meetings.
Now, already I am pretty upset about this, so I have began arguing with her about why. She says she loves her fiancé, but he doesn’t pay attention to her, he doesn’t satisfy her needs, and other things to this effect. I said if she feels this way she definitely shouldn’t be getting married. She argues that relationships have ups and downs and that this has just been a particularly long and low down. While I do know relationships have ups and downs, the way she talks about it, it sounds like she is in denial about her marriage, her feelings for her fiancé, or something.
The biggest problem is, she is literally one of my closest friends. It sucks that someone I would vent to and ask for advice would do something like this. I know it’s not my life and I should let her make her own mistakes, but I don’t feel comfortable having someone like that in my life.
Am I wrong to make these judgements about her relationship, or should I cut her out of my life?
– Hurt and Lost
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