Beat Breakfast Panel: My Mom Wants to Force My Grandma Into My Life

So I haven’t spoken to my grandparents in 9 years. They decided to completely cut themselves out out mine and my sister’s lives when my sister was just 11.

They were supposed to go on an ice cream date but never showed up. I am older than my sister and tried to email them to contact, and never got a response so after a year or two I gave up. I don’t want to get into detail, but I did find out my mother was abused as a child by her paternal father and my grandmother knew about it. The new guy who raised my mother and that I called grandpa was a good guy until they disappeared.

My grandpa got ill last year and all of a sudden started speaking with my Mother again. My grandpa passed away and I did not go to the funeral or visit him in the hospital. I am at peace with having them out of my life as grandparents.

Now that it’s Christmas, my mom told me she plans to have my grandmother at my house when I visit. She told me she gave my grandmother my phone number. She is trying to justify the complete neglect my grandparents had for our lives and while I’m happy for her to have a relationship with her mother again, I am at peace having my grandmother out of my life.

I told my mother I’d be civil with my grandmother at Christmas, but I KNOW she is going to try to force a relationship between us.

How do I get my mother to realize that this is not going to happen? I was pretty excited to visit, but now I’m dreading Christmas!

Happy how things are

Kitchener

 

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